WEBVTT

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<v 0>Hand, a monkey a gun. Who did that?</v>

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<v 1>Nobody, I mean, I dunno, maybe somebody. Shut up--let me finish. That phrase,</v>

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"To hand a monkey a gun. It's like you're basically doing something so reckless,

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right? Everybody's in danger, okay? But when you really think about it, yeah,

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a monkey with a gun is terrifying, but he's also just scared monkey, y'know?

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He doesn't know what's going on. I mean, he's got this gun...

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Who left that lying around, right? All he knows are bananas, I mean,

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maybe he was just hungry.

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Shouldn't we try to maybe calm him down so he doesn't hurt himself...?

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And we don't have to kill him? You get me?

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I think...

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Europe made you gayer than ever.

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-Fuck you. (chuckle)
-No, no, I mean,

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I think you're going to be a great veterinarian.

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I love that you want to save animals now... pussy.

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<v 1>But, did you even listen to what I said though?</v>

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<v 0>Ugh, I feel like my head's going to explode... Holy fuck.</v>

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<v 1>Yeah, you drank a lot.</v>

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Yeah...

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<v 0>Thanks for letting me crash.</v>

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 And for brunch.

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<v 1>Well, I gotta get my day started, y'know? Put things in order, so...</v>

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What have you been up to? How's your living situation?

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Your sister?

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-Holy fuck--what's happening?
-What?

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-What's wrong with you? What are you thinking about?
-No, nothing--

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-I just asked you a question, why can't you answer me?
-I'm fine, there's nothing. I'm fine.


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Okay...

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What about music? Before I left you were talking about that program--

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<v 0>Nah, that fell through.</v>

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Yeah. I don't know, man... I think I just realised it's just bullshit kid stuff.

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I mean, all these people, right? They all want to be artists.

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They all want to be famous. They all "want to be" something.

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Just fucking wannabes.

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You want to be famous because you watch famous people and you want to have people look at you. 

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So stupid, man.

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Just enjoy watching famous people!

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Go to work, come home, get drunk, jerk off, go to sleep--but go to work again the next day!

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Fuckers talk about this shit: Movies, music, like it's their reason to live--they're not even there for it.

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The whole time they're just thinking, "Oh,

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I hope I'll come up with something this good, then Daddy'll love me." He won't.

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And you're just another dickhead trying to get everyone to love you and want you

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all the time. Nah, I snapped out of it, man.

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I'm not special because no one's special.

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The fuckers up there have just always been up there, and me?

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 Nah, I'll keep bussing tables...

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I'm not waiting for the lottery to solve my problems.

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It's funny. Laugh.

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<v 1>...Are you good?</v>

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<v 0>What? Yeah, the fuck? I was saying,</v>

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we should go to the movies, bro! Jo told me she snuck in drinks last time--

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They don't even search you there.

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She got so fucked she doesn't even remember what she saw!

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What? What is this? What are you doing?

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<v 1>No, guy, we just partied last night. And me personally, I'm physically shot.</v>

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And it's already... It's already two!? 'Kay, you gotta go.
You gotta go.

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<v 0>Come on, man, don't be like that--kicking me out so soon.</v>

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<v 1>G, you've been here since last night. It's the afternoon the next day,</v>

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what do you mean "so soon?".

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<v 0>You're such a cocksucker, bro.</v>

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You just got back here and you want to be alone already?

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<v 1>Of course, there's nothing better than my company. Right? Let's go. Come on.</v>

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Good seeing you, Mike.

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<v 0>Hey, let me know if you're down to chill later. Movie or not.</v>

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<v 1>Yeah, I'm a "no" today, brother.</v>

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<v 0>I'll text you.</v>

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 Oh, and...

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I'm the monkey, right?

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Great party, big dog. Welcome back.

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<v 1>I'm happy to be back!</v>

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A-And, happy birthday!

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(OMINOUS HUMMING)

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(OMINOUS HUM INCREASES)

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(OMINOUS DRONING)

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(BOWL SLAMS--DRONE CEASES)

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(BREATHING EFFORTS)

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(SHARP RINGING AND FEEBACK)

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(INTENSE DRUMMING)

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<v 0>Yo-- Fucking pussies! Absolute fucking pussies, dude.
(Candy Shop by Tablespoons plays)</v>

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Just trying to fit in the boxes. Posing,

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just trying to fit in is all anyone cares about anymore.

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They don't even realise the fact that they blend in to feel special.

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It's like trying to be different by being "different" like everyone else.

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It's fucking nonsense.

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This polar bear swim crap at the beginning of every year.

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Nobody cares that you ran into the ocean in winter for the four seconds it took

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to get that picture. But they all still do it. And send it,

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and share it across all their devices and platforms--What are you doing!?

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WHAT ARE THESE GUYS DOING!?

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 I SEE YOU FUCKERS, I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT! 

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...But honestly, deep down, I mean, yeah, I wish I was like them.

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Could work at a coffee shop or join a cult, same thing, pretty much.

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But the thing that really gets me, bro, I mean, the thing that fucking boils my blood.

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They think with all that shit, all this outside attention and...

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Stickiness--They're happy?

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I'll take this.

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I'll take this.

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This is what happy looks like.

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This is what fucking happy looks like.

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I like your kitchen, bro. 

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Yeah, the landlord had to buy all new stuff. 

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Broke down all at once.  Shiny, silver...

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Did you listen to what I said though? That was facts.

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My sister's cousin got me some crazy shit.

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It's called "Killer Gorilla." If you chew it, and dip,

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It hits faster-r-r... (echoey and distorted)
("falling down" BY ARBUTUS BLUE PLAYS)

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("CANDY SHOP" PLAYS MUFFLED)

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(DOOR SLAMS)
(HIP HOP BEAT, PEOPLE TALKING)

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(RINGING)

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<v 3>-Hello?</v>

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<v 0>Uhm, hi.</v>

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<v 3>-Miguel.</v>

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<v 0>Hey.</v>

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<v 3>-...Is everything all right?</v>

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<v 0>Yeah. I just, uh... really needed to talk to you.</v>

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<v 3>-Okay.</v>

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<v 0>Unless you're like busy right now--are you with mom or something?</v>

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<v 3>-It's four in the morning here.</v>

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<v 0>Oh... Uhm, did I wake you up?</v>

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<v 3>-No, I just mean... </v>

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-(SIGH) It's fine. What's happening? Why'd you call me?

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<v 0>Yeah. I mean... No, I just, um...</v>

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I just called you, because...

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Because, I, uh...

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Because I just--you know, I think I just realised
I'm--I'm just such a fuckup, y'know?

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I'm just fucking poison.

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<v 3>-Migue, where are you right now?</v>

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<v 0>I'm a bad person, Lisa, y'know? And you left now...</v>

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And I made it happen, but I...

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<v 3>-Miguel?</v>

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-Miguel.

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<v 0>God, I wish you hadn't answered the phone.</v>

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<v 3>-What? Why would you say that?</v>

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<v 0>I used to be so much faster, y'know? I used to be fast, Lisa.</v>

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Fuck. God. This is fucking stupid. I'm just drunk--

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I'm just drunk and I called you and I, ugh--

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<v 3>-No, listen to me. Where are you? Are you home?</v>

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<v 0>No, I'm at this house party.</v>

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<v 3>-Oh.</v>

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<v 0>I'm outside.</v>

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<v 3>-Okay... 

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-I think you should just get some water and go home.</v>

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<v 2>Yeah.</v>

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<v 3>-I really think you should just go home... I don't know what to say. I...</v>

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<v 0>No, all good. No, yeah, I'll uh... </v>

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I'm gonna go now. You go back to bed. It's all good.

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<v 3>-Okay. Love you--</v>

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<v 0>Okay. I'm going to go. Bye. Bye.
-Bye</v>

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(CAN CRACKING OPEN)

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<v 4>("The Hermit" by Ro'Star plays)</v>